16 years of watching people stay the same and change all together .
Too many years of being the blame for all that goes wrong .
Too many bruises to count all the blows she taken.
Shes tired .
With no where to run.
Where she dreams to go doesnt exsist and if it doesnt its been hiding .
How is it home if there isnt happiness ?
Nothing she does is right && all is wrong .
Unprotected .
&& shes still building this fence.
Crying because it continues to fall.
. . . I quit.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
this is deff hows its supposed to be. =]
So im going to ramble this time and many times more after because that is what i do.
the day is march, 29,'09 7:06 am (yea im up early on a sunday). either way i have a purpose on maybe not at all but im up. today the babes nd I make 5 months;; and I am beyond happy.
5 months of finishing each others sentence, knowing who what when why and even how with one another. no arguements in the past none present and deff none in the future. hate on us. =]
lilly says we're the strangest couple because one minute we look like best friends and the next we're swapping spit{ sounds nasty hehe } ;; but we both replied "thats how is supposed to be".
Guys dream about lovers and friends and they will continue with the little dreams because WE ARE RARE.
5 months of being the model couple;; the ones you want; crave and cant have.
The babes swag is mean && my switch produce feins.
We're serious together;;goofy together and very strange together.
shes the right side of my brain;; my morning and night sky; my everything.
&& i gaurentee countless years from now she will still be my everything.
[ 102908]
HaPPy 5 Month aNNiiVeRsArY BaBe.
the day is march, 29,'09 7:06 am (yea im up early on a sunday). either way i have a purpose on maybe not at all but im up. today the babes nd I make 5 months;; and I am beyond happy.
5 months of finishing each others sentence, knowing who what when why and even how with one another. no arguements in the past none present and deff none in the future. hate on us. =]
lilly says we're the strangest couple because one minute we look like best friends and the next we're swapping spit{ sounds nasty hehe } ;; but we both replied "thats how is supposed to be".
Guys dream about lovers and friends and they will continue with the little dreams because WE ARE RARE.
5 months of being the model couple;; the ones you want; crave and cant have.
The babes swag is mean && my switch produce feins.
We're serious together;;goofy together and very strange together.
shes the right side of my brain;; my morning and night sky; my everything.
&& i gaurentee countless years from now she will still be my everything.
[ 102908]
HaPPy 5 Month aNNiiVeRsArY BaBe.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
concentrating on today...worrying about 2mm
There is not a day that goes by where I don't think about June,26th, 2009...she'll get her high school diploma && I'll have another year in high school. Im worried about the small things.im worried i wont be able to hear her voice at 9:35 am && look across the room to catch her eyes inline with mines.I'm worried that our time will be limited && that small insecure past of mines creeps up && wonders will she get tired and leave; reassured that that will never happen;; i concentrate on today.
I have stress that hasnt even reared its head yet. silly isnt it?
the day she graduates ill cry for the time i wont have with her and how i will yearn to know how she is every second of the day,how much i will miss her.
I'll worry about the stress she will have and the pressure she will endure.
stressing as i worry about the future when im glad ive made it throught 2day.
( idk ;; dnt ask.)
[[ my thoughts scramble themselves and i become tongue-tied ]]
mood: unclear.
I have stress that hasnt even reared its head yet. silly isnt it?
the day she graduates ill cry for the time i wont have with her and how i will yearn to know how she is every second of the day,how much i will miss her.
I'll worry about the stress she will have and the pressure she will endure.
stressing as i worry about the future when im glad ive made it throught 2day.
( idk ;; dnt ask.)
[[ my thoughts scramble themselves and i become tongue-tied ]]
mood: unclear.
to wonder...
To think is to wonder or is it wander?
to roam;; to question;; is there an answer?
Or is every question replied with a question in the form of a statement?
to wonder...
I wonder if the world stopped would i fall for her harder than the night before?
If i stopped thinking would she fail to run her daily path through my mind?
A question for a question.
will it always be a what if? i always wonder why? she is the who and her love and beauty is how.
to wonder or it is to wander?
to roam;; to question;;is there an answer?
Or is every question replied with a question in the form of a statement?
to roam;; to question;; is there an answer?
Or is every question replied with a question in the form of a statement?
to wonder...
I wonder if the world stopped would i fall for her harder than the night before?
If i stopped thinking would she fail to run her daily path through my mind?
A question for a question.
will it always be a what if? i always wonder why? she is the who and her love and beauty is how.
to wonder or it is to wander?
to roam;; to question;;is there an answer?
Or is every question replied with a question in the form of a statement?
Monday, March 23, 2009
this is how its supposed to be.
the time is now ....12:25 am...
&& im up thinking.
the ability to love her comes natural.
her voice moves me like music nd from so much happiness i shed tears.
in 6 days we make 5 months.
5 months of nothing buhh happiness.
After the storm comes the calmness.
without her to sing songs would be impossible;; mii desire to express happiness would cease.
Dear Nayelin;;
I thank every god thought of;; for you. I thank them for your ability to see; hear;touch;taste and feel; for each finger and each toe; for your life in general and I mean it. i thank god for the ability to love at all. to sing a song without you in mind would lack the simpliest of melodies. I'm grateful that you were the one to heal every wound and give me the rest of mii heart nd help it grow; love would not exsist without you; and if it ever ceases so will I.
each second of everyday my love for you grows.
I could write novels on my love for you but nothing would compare. compare to the glistening brown of your eyes. Those eyes that hold the gateway to such a beautiful soul. Compare to that adorable nose; compare to the curve of your lips; the softness that drains the heat from my finger tips; a mind that holds the thoughts of such a beauty; a body that sends hells angels to heaven. Nothing compares to you; no summer breeze;no song; poem; nothing compares to you nd nothing and no one ever will.
Words cant begin to describe what i feel for you; every breath taken; every smile shown;; every giggle;; journal entry are all minor to what i feel. i just know that every morning and evening it grows.
x____ sincerly yours dijja.
[[102908]]
(( it took me 2 hours to do this cuzz i went outside ))
[[ E T E R N ii T Y ]]
&& im up thinking.
the ability to love her comes natural.
her voice moves me like music nd from so much happiness i shed tears.
in 6 days we make 5 months.
5 months of nothing buhh happiness.
After the storm comes the calmness.
without her to sing songs would be impossible;; mii desire to express happiness would cease.
Dear Nayelin;;
I thank every god thought of;; for you. I thank them for your ability to see; hear;touch;taste and feel; for each finger and each toe; for your life in general and I mean it. i thank god for the ability to love at all. to sing a song without you in mind would lack the simpliest of melodies. I'm grateful that you were the one to heal every wound and give me the rest of mii heart nd help it grow; love would not exsist without you; and if it ever ceases so will I.
each second of everyday my love for you grows.
I could write novels on my love for you but nothing would compare. compare to the glistening brown of your eyes. Those eyes that hold the gateway to such a beautiful soul. Compare to that adorable nose; compare to the curve of your lips; the softness that drains the heat from my finger tips; a mind that holds the thoughts of such a beauty; a body that sends hells angels to heaven. Nothing compares to you; no summer breeze;no song; poem; nothing compares to you nd nothing and no one ever will.
Words cant begin to describe what i feel for you; every breath taken; every smile shown;; every giggle;; journal entry are all minor to what i feel. i just know that every morning and evening it grows.
x____ sincerly yours dijja.
[[102908]]
(( it took me 2 hours to do this cuzz i went outside ))
[[ E T E R N ii T Y ]]
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
very1stblognothingspecial.
its not always rainbows and butterflies..its compromise that moves us along....
I AM TIRED OF COMPROMISING.
each day you wish; you had it just a little bit easier. thankful your not stuck in the past;; or atleast your trying not to be.
everydaii is the same when im here...{home}...will it ever change?
will the tears stop;; will i learn to verbalize what i feel without wanting to set it on fire?
without her;;nothing matters;; even wen were apart for hrs;; it feels like yrs;; && im stuck here and each minute feels like those rusted blades and acid against mii sensitive skin.
&& wen shes here with me knowing tht i have to go back;; gives me the motivation to love her so much more and wen i reach tht unwanted destination of home and im here buhh invisible to the sympathy;; they can not find as i am folded into a corner; that corner is where i stay;; how i breathe and where i dnt cry.
thats where i can pretend i am not alone; that i am not living for them and no morsel of mii soul belongs to them;; thts where the light is.
that is the silent moment; and the fake smile; that is... mii internal confusion...mii need to leave.
[random words in the back off mii mind;;do they even connect?]
I AM TIRED OF COMPROMISING.
each day you wish; you had it just a little bit easier. thankful your not stuck in the past;; or atleast your trying not to be.
everydaii is the same when im here...{home}...will it ever change?
will the tears stop;; will i learn to verbalize what i feel without wanting to set it on fire?
without her;;nothing matters;; even wen were apart for hrs;; it feels like yrs;; && im stuck here and each minute feels like those rusted blades and acid against mii sensitive skin.
&& wen shes here with me knowing tht i have to go back;; gives me the motivation to love her so much more and wen i reach tht unwanted destination of home and im here buhh invisible to the sympathy;; they can not find as i am folded into a corner; that corner is where i stay;; how i breathe and where i dnt cry.
thats where i can pretend i am not alone; that i am not living for them and no morsel of mii soul belongs to them;; thts where the light is.
that is the silent moment; and the fake smile; that is... mii internal confusion...mii need to leave.
[random words in the back off mii mind;;do they even connect?]
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